My new reality is entirely digital, unless it’s meaningful to me. I mean, actual conversations used to be cool, but who really needs them anymore? If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that we can hide away in our homes and never talk to anyone again. Except maybe that Verizon voice-remote… but that’s just some misplaced technology that started to work about 20 years too late.
I don’t want to go into a bank anymore. I used to have a dedicated bank manager who knew me and provided personalized service. Now it’s just people staring into a terminal and repeating what I can see myself. I don’t need to engage with these people – they can’t help me. Why do I need meaningless transactional dialog with someone who seems pissed off with the world?
I don’t need to talk to airline customer service anymore. They just repeat what I can see myself online. I don’t need to engage with these people – they can’t help me. And I don’t need to spend half my life on hold… just automate this nightmare for me, please.
I don’t need to go to the Apple Store anymore. I know what I want and can buy it myself. I don’t need some cool kid making me feel like some aging techno-moron. Just ship me my purchase, please.
I don’t need to call Amazon customer service anymore. It takes forever to find a number to call and they’ll just tell me they’ll get back to me… and never do. Or just accuse me of lying and hang up (yes, that actually happened).
I don’t need to talk to my cellphone provider anymore. They just sell me upgrades I don’t want and put me through to other departments for the help I need, which never pick up or send me back to the original department that tries to sell me those upgrades again. Why persist with this painful waste of time?
I called google enterprise support once (yes, there actually is one) and was emailed a manual to read to solve my issue. But the person was friendly and had a nice Irish accent.
I don’t need to talk to my colleagues anymore – I hardly ever see them these days. I can get what I need over Zoom or Teams chat. In fact, I don’t really need to talk to my boss unless I need to resign, but I guess I can do that over Zoom too… And am sure if I get sacked, it won’t be via an actual conversation.
My mom and dad do sometimes call me, but never with any forewarning… and I am always busy when they do. But they can (just about) use texts now, so we have something to work with…
The Bottom-line: Our new reality is entirely digital unless it’s meaningful to us. So the Metaverse it is… let’s go!
Let’s face facts, we only want to talk to people who are worthy of our attention, who give us their attention too. We only really want to invest in personable relationships that are meaningful. Everything else is really just a transaction that can be automated or AI-ed. So buy that VR headset and give up on transactional humanity… the future is in the Metaverse folks!