Finally, you’re free from the house-slavery! You escaped and are now back in conference land. While it barely feels like the last 2.5 years of your life just happened and you’re right back in the swing of physical interaction, there is something weird lurking around your inner consciousness:
1. Those Zoom and Teams calls have become a plague on your life
For chrissakes, I am back in the world of humans, people. Just f***ing leave me alone with the soul-crushing Zoom calls. I am at a REAL CONFERENCE talking to REAL PEOPLE. No, I do not have hours and hours to stare into that video-call abyss… I am back in the real world and that’s really IMPORTANT!
2. Everyone’s lacking stamina
What happened – we used to be such a youthful bunch, hanging around the hotel bar, sneaking off to a nightclub/cigar club etc. Now people can barely make it through three boring panels without having to take a sneaky nap. “Just going to say goodnight to the kids ” is the last thing you’re hearing from loads of people these days as they discretely slip into the elevator…
3. You just don’t hate people like you used to
Oh those people you avoided eye contact with are now chatting to you like long-lost friends… omg am I enjoying human contact? Did I just press the flesh with people?
4. Content takes a backseat as Covid may have actually killed PowerPoint (gasp)
Seriously, this could be one pandemic benefit we hadn’t noticed, but no one likes staring at cardboard PPT anymore – we actually like talking and engaging with each other. We’ve had enough watching people reading off scripts. Let’s cut loose and TALK!
5. Noone’s talking about bloody Covid
Yeah, the topic-du-jour is now taboo… it’s just mind-numbing to engage in yet another conversation about everyone getting sick… yet again.
6. The end of the world is nigh, so let’s just enjoy what we have left
After that apocalypse that was posing as some faded version of Davos, where nuclear war and hyper-stagflation were combining with the fact no-one’s doing squat with this net-zero stuff to destroy the last remnants of humanity… most of us are trying to focus on more positive dynamics in the world. Like the fact that recessions can breed more focused behaviour and investments from enterprises. Plus the fact that enterprises are starting to use technology more effectively and not simply buying up licenses of software with no idea how to deploy it. And let’s not forget the fact that our employers have to pretend to be nice to us and actually want us these days. And we can always talk about the Metaverse…
7. Oh… and we can always talk about the Metaverse
Yeah – from blockchain to VR goggles, that thing the Metaverse, where we’ve already been spun several definitions, is going to save us. Yes, folks, it will because everyone says so. Service providers will start reporting “metaverse revenues” soon… Gartner will surely come out with “Meta-automation” next and HFS will be handing out mandatory VR goggles at its September Super Summit… surely?