In these troubling economic times, most firms are tightening their belts to keep those unnecessary costs down while we look to ride out this recession. I used to charge $500/hour for dishing out this kind of advice, but I thought I’d give out some cost-cutting tips to Horses-readers as a gesture of economic goodwill:
1) Make all your senior managers and sales people fly Northworst. You’ll be amazed at how many of those "critical" business trips go away….
2) Reduce the "on the road" food budget to $30 a day. (Makes everyone order pizza to their rooms, rather than those terrible room service burgers);
3) Enforce a zero-tolerance policy on alcohol products to be expensed. This will automatically reduce 25-50% from your bottom-line. (Better than any outsourcing initative);
4) Send all your lowest performers on Six Sigma certification training. They’ll either disappear from your payroll completely, or have a complete epiphany and start delivering the goods;
5) Seek out the cheapest, most desperate outsourcing service provider you can find and get them to take on all your messed-up HR, finance, procurement and customer service processes. Hire a razor sharp sourcing attorney to include performance-levels you would never have dreamed possible – and which you would never have ever reached yourself in a million years. Wait one year, do nothing, and they are guaranteed to have missed every single performance metric. Now you can sue them for a small fortune for lost revenues that you would never have made in the first place. Genious;
6) Sign a corporate deal with Red-roof Inn for any off-plan sales reps. There is no better way to improve performance;
7) Completely refocus your entire business strategy on producing mind-numbing facebook applications. You can’t go wrong, trust me.
Time to look at new means to lower those corporate costs -:)
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