If I was elected Prez...

September 16, 2015 | Phil Fersht

It's not too late to throw my hat in the ring, so I thought I'd test my manifesto with you folks first to see if I have a shot...

I would:

Running for President with policies that will surely nail it

Running for President with policies that will surely nail it

Charge income tax on robots

Make the European tradition of boozing at lunch an acceptable part of American culture

Not be anything like Donald Trump

Appoint Hillary as our Digital Trust Czar

Make all power accessories become "recognizable" by Apple devices, as long as they fit in the hole

Make analysts pass a basic IQ test before their next scatterplot

Make Apple upgrade every hotel radio and gym machine with the right adapter socket

Make sourcing advisors pass a basic IQ test before they, er, do anything

Make service provider executives stop wearing gray suits

Introduce the “Whiner’s Circle” – we’ll run a Blueprint every year on the leading buy side whiners

Not be anything like Donald Trump

Blast the Ashley Madison database and force them all to take an online course in “bots versus humans”

Introduce the “Sinners Circle” of top outsourcing execs caught soliciting robotic women on Ashley…

Appoint Sepp Blatter as Magic Quadrant Ombudsman

Build a wall between Canada and the US to keep out Tim Hortons

Appoint Bernie Sanders as Chairman of NASSCOM

Hire Carly Fiorina to leverage her experience of singlehandedly dismantling a well organized international organization… to take down ISIS

Roll out an RPA strategy for Congress. Robotic Political Automation

Not be anything like Donald Trump

Fine anyone who talks about Digital who fails to explain what it actually is first

Make Donald Trump build a very large wall around his house…

So there you have it, now to do I have your support?


Posted in: Absolutely Meaningless Comedy

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  1. Jim
    Posted Sep 16, 2015 11:13 AM | Permalink Reply

    How could anyone vote for that face?

    Great one, Phil!

  2. Alan Jackson
    Posted Sep 16, 2015 12:11 PM | Permalink Reply

    Oh my god, I nearly fell off my chair reading this.

    The Tim Hortons one is the best.

  3. Donald Trump
    Posted Sep 16, 2015 10:30 PM | Permalink Reply

    If there's a scarier candidate than the Donald...

  4. Phil Fersht
    Posted Sep 17, 2015 09:39 PM | Permalink Reply

    yes, it would indeed be frightening. but we need to keep Tim Horton's out, we must... we have to =)

    btw - I may outlaw Subway too under my "pretending to be healthy but failing miserably" act...

  5. Robert Bond
    Posted Sep 22, 2015 07:13 PM | Permalink Reply

    what about Donald Trump? ;)

  6. Joaquin
    Posted Oct 03, 2015 01:12 AM | Permalink Reply

    you have my vote :-)

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